Joy

       I have a lot of joy in my life. It wasn’t always this way. I was very depressed for many years, and when I wasn’t depressed, I was experiencing dysphoric mania, which was worse. But in 2019 things changed. I left a bad marriage, and then left behind the dark thoughts that had been holding me down. I cracked through the layer of ice I was trapped beneath. I did a lot of damage to people in that process, especially to my son, but things are better now for everyone. It was a rough transition, but I have arrived at a place of joy.

       I feel joy whenever I have a deep conversation with my children, and when they occasionally ask me for advice.

       I feel joy whenever my grandchildren smile at me, and when they let me hug them.

       I feel joy whenever I look at my house, which is now a true reflection of me.

       I feel joy whenever my cat, Cordelia, crawls on my chest and goes to sleep, even though this usually happens while I am trying to read.

       I feel joy whenever I complete the day’s writing goal.

       I feel joy whenever I  figure out a plot problem that had been bothering me.

       I feel joy whenever I am out in nature, even if it is cold and rainy.

       I feel joy whenever I think about the fact that my body still functions, and does nearly everything I ask of it. A lot of people don’t have this privilege.

       I feel joy whenever I take a walk with my friend, Mary-Ann.

       I feel joy whenever I’m geeking out about one of a thousand things with my friend, Nick.

       I feel joy whenever I host people at my house.

       I feel joy whenever I finish painting a miniature.

       I feel joy whenever I complete the process of publishing a book.

       I feel joy whenever I make a book sale.

       I feel joy whenever people leave reviews, or find some other way to tell me they like my work.

       I feel joy whenever I see a new cover for the first time.

       I feel joy whenever I see the row of book covers displayed in my office.

       I feel joy whenever I hold one of my paperbacks in my hand.

       I feel joy whenever I help a patron find a book they wanted.

       I feel joy whenever a patron enjoys a book I recommended.

       I feel joy whenever I see my books on a library shelf.

       I feel joy when I meditate.

       I feel joy whenever I am driving alone at night, the music turned up.

       I feel joy whenever I can reach all the notes in the song I am singing along to.

       I feel joy whenever I solve a tech problem

       I feel joy whenever I complete a difficult task

       I feel joy whenever I have a great idea for a plot twist.

       I feel joy whenever my dog, Max, gets soooo excited to be out on a walk.

       I feel joy whenever I have finished cleaning my house.

       I feel joy whenever I take that first sip of coffee in the morning.

       I feel joy whenever all my bills are paid on time.

       I feel joy watching a good TV show

       I feel joy whenever I have finished everything on my list for the day 

       These are just some of the things that bring me joy. I’m sure there are many more I could think of if I gave myself more time.